Brief Information for Crystal Spirits

Hello everyone. This is my first idea that I’m sharing with the community. Also, this project will be my first vn as well. I fully intend to use this idea, but I did not have enough show of work as of yet to put it on the main work in progress forum. I have descriptions of some characters and some pieces of artwork as well. The story has (at the time of this post 3,000 words) and will be much longer than I thought it would be. Might have to break the general idea into different arcs or stories.

Title: Crystal Spirits
Genre: Fantasy, comedy, scifi aspects, romance (perhaps).
Rating: 13+ (May change in future)
Platform: PC, Free (Hopefully)

Plot (Up to Date): Over one hundred years has passed since the Mayans very wrong prediction. Humanity did not end itself through biological warfare nor did zombies rise from their graves to slay the living. About the only things that changed was the lost magic and races made themselves known much more openly. In a small city lives Cassandra Holloway, a teenager who has been more or less sheltered from the paranormal and their gaze all of her life. That all changed when her grandfather Ziv Daiku requests her presence in Ranceford, California. With her dreams haunted by a field of beings sealed within stone and crystal, and her waking life more confusing given her new ‘life and title’, her only constants are unfortunately the insane (and evil) grim reaper she freed and the book she was entrusted with. Soon after her grandfather vanishes, even stranger things begin to happen. The biggest problem? Several people are requesting her assistance in “Matters of Great Importance” and she knows nothing about the responsibilities she was given.

Will you help her along with the investigations or help the ‘villains’? How will you manage the hectic group of friends while attending a even more odd high school? Is there romance in store for you? And what is with the bead chain that Ziv gave you for your birthday?!

Brief Character Introduction 1

Cassandra Holloway
Age: 16 (Celebrates sixteenth birthday at beginning)
Gender: Female
Race: Born as a human though changes after awakening(s)

Skin Color: slightly tan

Body type:  Athletic, lithe build
Height: 5’8
Weight: 125 lbs
Eye color: Hetrochromia (different colored eyes) Left is blue the other is a very dark reddish-brown. More oxblood in color.
Hair style/color: Platinum blond with light gray tips. About upper back length
Work outfit (secondary): Sleeveless black top with Long Dark red attachable (at upper arm) sleeves that has tribal markings (swirls etc.) on it hides some weapons and the bead chain. Her Dark blue pants has many pockets. Sneakers adorn her feet
Everyday outfit: Regular street clothes (attitude shirt, shorts, and steel toed boots.
Personality: Sarcastic, sometimes cynical, and always too curious for her own good, Cassie is always up for a adventure. A tad mischievious and likes to make plots, she is neutral in most cases and “helps out her friends” instead of specific races or groups.
Saying: “Piss me off and I’ll send my minions after you.”

Current Status: 3,000 words. Two character artwork, no programming and such. Right now, I’m looking for inspiration and to see if anyone would be interested in something like this. It’s not like the traditional VN (or that GxB so far) and I’m aiming for some rpg elements thrown in.

What I hope to Learn: I’m a total newbie to vn making (and vn in general) so any advice would be nice. I don’t know much about music or artwork. I’m a writer though I am also learning coding. I would love to bounce around ideas with others. I DO realize this is a very tough job ahead for me, especially for being a new vn creator. I just can’t see her story (or stories) otherwise.

Opening Question: Does the overall plot seem sound to you?

Ending Notes: I will put up basic known characters and descriptions today or tomorrow on here and my blog. I edited this post enough for the moment.

Thoughts on ‘The Onigami House’ Demo

Initial thoughts:  Not much information was given by the creator.of this NaNoReNo vn demo since Kitten the Cat (their username on lemmasoft) basically put it out.  The demo covers the prologue and chapter 1.  From a few of the people who tried ir said that the storyline was similar to the Hakuoki series.  Well, I should try it myself before making decisions based on other peoples words. 

Demo:

The backgrounds brought to mind a real life (or at least a cartoon form) village and house.  The artwork and characters so far seem interesting enough to want to play more.  The dining scene was nice as well.  The chapters seem too short to me and leaves me wondering how the eventual endings would be chosen or how this would work in general.  I like the idea of it being a village and yet based around modern times(?).  The light and talk of war ships help.  In any case I like this visual novel so far and look forward to the finished project.

Letters for You Review (Spoilers ahead)

Before play:  I’ve heard some interesting things about this NaNoReNo kinetic novel (a novel with pretty pictures but no choices) by LemmaSoft Forum’s Patty and from what I read the general idea seems sound.  The main character is (putting first name first just because I can) a teen mail carrier named Tegami Fujitaka.  He tries to deliver a letter to Sayaka Narazaki who seems easily angered.  Here’s hoping the first bit of this rumored long story are worth it.

Fifteen Minutes In:  Well, it’s interesting.  The sprites are expressive and the music is upbeat so far.  I would have suggested having Tegami describe his job over time or during a conversation.  Than again I can understand time restraints.  The CG was interesting with Tegami chasing after Sayaka with the letter in hand.  So far there are typos that the three proofreaders missed. 

30 minutes in:  Apparently Tegami and Sayaka were bestest best buds as children.  That and Sayaka sticking out her tongue as quoted by Patty in a private discussion – “an expression that can terrify children”  This I have to fully agree with.  What I want to know is why he forgot or is he too dense to begin with.

45 minutes in:  After more mouse clicking past a grocery scene, kite flying, and flashbacks, I get to Sayaka dieing and her somewhat at peace with that.  More typos which annoy me at the moving scene.

1 Hour Mark:  Finally finished it with the odd ending of Tegami getting a black/death letter to deliver.  How much do you want to bet its for Sayaka?

Judgment:  It has a interesting overall idea but somethings really made me question the proofreader’s work.  Too many typos and delayed sound (for instance the train) made it a little hard to get into.  Some of the sprites expressions were odd (though out of Sayaka and Tegami I prefer Tegami) and a few of the backgrounds seemed slightly too crowded.  For a NaNoReNo KN project it is good and one of the better ones it that specific type  If you need something to keep you busy for a bit then check this out.

First Step: Getting the story written down

For some people this is the easiest thing in the world but for others it’s a preview of hell.  For me it’s somewhere in the middle and with the fact that I tend to plan out the entire storyline in my head (or at least bits and pieces) I get burned out easier then most.

Here are some tips I learned that will help you along with all your writing projects:

1)  Have music playing in the background or a video off to the side of the screen (if on computer).  While this can be distracting I have found that it inspires me for more detailed and lifelike dialogue.

2)  Write and/or draw everyday.  I myself have this problem and it’s more a motivational thing for me.  Even if it’s just a “Hello, how are you?” on Facebook to working on a list for groceries, you are STILL thinking and planning.  You can even do little doodles to get used ton drawing.

3)  Ask people for advice.  Aside from the slim chance of having your idea stolen, you should ask both people you know well and those you don’t.  I find that family and close friends will try to agree with you while others will be honest.

4)  Find your (the writer) own voice.  This may seem like a contradiction to the above post but you should always try new things.  There’s nothing worse then writer’s block when you still have characters dancing around in your head.  Speaking of characters:

5)  Get into their Heads.  Characters are (or should be in my opinion) capable of having their own dreams, hopes, and wishes.  Each one has a personality that can go against their stereotypical roles (like a cute and cuddly mass murderer)  One good way to discover your character’s voice is to role play or do a verbal discussion.

There are many other tips but I’m a lazy creature so I’ll leave the rest for you to find.

Onward to a decent English VN!

…Is what I would like to say but that seems to be increasingly hard to find. There are good games coming out from all though.  As an aspiring vn and one day game maker I will try several of these games and do my best to give a review based on storyline, character development, whether it keeps one interested and if not how long it would take to finish or quit, how many routes and their lengths and last but not least graphics and artwork in general.  Naturally there will be spoilers that be seen though I’ll warn you if there are any at the top of the post.  Along with reviewing this will be a blog for posting information on my own visual novels and games along with a few other people.

About reviewing I will attempt to review most vn’s and games though I do have my limits.  Two examples are the BxB/GxG and Hentai. There are exceptions to that as long as the idea or story captures my attention.  For games I’m not good at shooters and a few others but for the most part I’ll try whatever I can.

As mentioned in the first paragraph, I am working on plots which I will post the bare bones idea within the next few posts.  Regarding my closest friend who are also making visual novels and games I will link to them as needed.

A fair warning;  I will NOT hold back on these reviews or thoughts so expect some harshness at times.  Just think of it as a way to improve your skills by listening to advice that will appear after each section of the review.  The first review or two will come in a few days.  Stay tuned or Royce Davidson will hunt you down 😉